[1] "This Damn Company's Boss... Is the Goddess's Electronic Pet?!"
Crouched in the ventilation shaft above the CEO's office, Hoshino and I stared down at the "boss" charging below—
His suit split open, revealing a pink rabbit-shaped mechanical core stamped with:33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNG3ySlq6pT
[Model: Goddess's Beloved Pet #99633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZz1fTPIi8h
Functions: Faith Extraction / Employee Brainwashing / Automatic Frisbee Fetching]
"Three hundred years ago..." Hoshino's voice trembled, "that woman said she wanted 'a healing pet'... and this is what she made?!"
My familiar wriggled through the duct, its phone screen lighting up with the unlocked "Goddess Cloud Drive":33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuwzUzZWZYC
"Your Majesty! Found the blackmail files! Just ¥500 to—"33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMvJbKsPd67
"BUY IT!!" we shouted in unison.
[2] Blackmail File 001: The Goddess Can't Actually Code
The first decompressed file:33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjOJpSIDDk
[Heaven System Source Code (Annotated)]
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6PLUu7SZD
def exploit_humans(): 33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtuoi4tlAbD
if employee.emotion == "despair": 33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVteGWzU2Zy
print("Work hard! Heaven awaits next year!") # LIES. No such feature. 33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqD5omb56X
else: 33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtrxcCIlGd
activate("holy_gaslighting_module") # NOTE: Outsourced to Hell.
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZqwKUjUKC
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoY77rGApUh
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlocPfWbU1f
"Hold up!" I yanked my familiar's tail. "Since when did demons take these kinds of jobs?!"33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZEn5VOpXf
Hoshino deadpanned: "Remember? You said, 'Let’s earn side income from Goddess contracts'..."
[3] Blackmail File 007: Holy Swords Are Just Plungers
A leaked video played—33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH8Zv8gVnDC
Younger Goddess haggled at a heavenly hardware store:33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnjVcKon4l
"Just plate this toilet plunger in gold, add LED lights... Yeah, make it look like a 'Holy Sword'!"33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4bTo2G6EGH
Clerk: "You still owe us for turning the Roomba into 'angel halos'..."
Hoshino’s sword flickered like faulty Christmas lights.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrehBQzfI4z
"No wonder..." she monotone’d, "it keeps showing 'Low Battery' when I stab you."
[4] Company-Wide Riot! When the Wage Slaves Learn the Truth
The moment we mass-emailed the blackmail files, chaos erupted—
Accounting Dept. folded overtime forms into paper airplanes bombarding the CEO's office.
IT Dept. hacked the "faith conversion" backend, setting everyone’s "ascension progress" to 100%.
Janitor Auntie charged the coffee machine with a mop: "My daughter’s overwork data was in THIS?!"
"Now!" Hoshino flung off her HR badge. "Go dismantle that 'pet rabbit' and reclaim your Demon Core—"
Alarms blared:33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcFiSEvO664
[WARNING: Mass Awakening Detected. Initiating FINAL PROTOCOL: Full System Reset.]
Ceiling panels shattered, unleashing chains that lashed toward employees. The rabbit CEO’s eyes glowed blood-red:33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEikcJroXsN
"Naughty workers... become batteries~❤"
[5] Demon King & Hero’s Ultimate Fusion Move (Literal)
"Five seconds!" Hoshino tossed me her holy sword. "Channel your dark energy into it—"33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡci5rV9XDRo
The hilt scorched my palm: "This thing isn’t dark-magic-compatible?!"33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPDSKAMtu1
"Shut up!" She gripped my sword-hand. "Our ceasefire pact said '50% holy, 50% dark'—"
The blade erupted in gold-and-black lightning. My familiar livestreamed:33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfW3QXwTfF
"Ladies and gentlemen! Presenting the legendary combo move officially named—"
『S O C I A L D E A T H S L A S H』!!!
ns52.14.154.79da2
and then Add to home screen.