The mountain was steep, the heat suffocating, and the smell of sulfur stung the nostrils. Shrek, dripping with sweat, wiped his forehead and glanced at the donkey dragging his hooves behind him.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPdU9U0FZC
— You think she’s pretty? the Donkey asked, blinking. ’Cause seriously, between the cliffs, the moat, and the piles of bones… I’m not feeling optimistic.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDJxazzNYz
Shrek grunted, adjusted his leather strap, and muttered:
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpV5IkWZIrX
— Doesn’t matter. I’m not here to fall in love. We find the princess, take her to that short stack Farquaad, and I get my swamp back. End of story.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNoXOdlj94
They climbed the last few steps to the main tower. The dragon — oddly well-manicured — let them pass with a sigh and went back to flipping through a magazine called Draco Glam. The Donkey froze, eyes wide.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡttFXCb2N41
— That dragon just told us to go up… and not mess up her manicure. I’m not hallucinating, right? She talked, didn’t she?
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCeCX1CvfUB
Shrek didn’t answer. He kicked the tower door wide open.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMWiLCh1Qt1
— PRINCESS FIONA?!
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdaF4LYozd
The crash cut off the upbeat music. Feathers flew. Nail polish spilled. And four pairs of eyes turned toward him.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAeWBsahnbf
In the center of the room, sitting on a plush pink pouf, Fiona — dressed in leggings and a “Born to Reign” t-shirt — held a pineapple cocktail. Around her, Snow White was playing Uno with Little Red Riding Hood, while Cinderella organized sheet masks in a mini-fridge.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpDA7nWNJyj
Fiona stood, hands on her hips.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8XZahyA2L0
— Who’s that?
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXquKoYUtOl
— Uhh… he’s an ogre, giggled Snow White. Cute boots.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLf31fABWf
Shrek, clearly thrown by the scene, paused a beat before speaking.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqh3wl3stFE
— Uh… yeah. Hi. Princess Fiona, I assume? I was sent by Lord Farquaad. He wants to marry you, and he sent me to come get you. So… let’s go.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPsF8O6WTH
Fiona blinked slowly.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdf6n180BBW
Then burst into laughter.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm26I15R5D2
— Wait… wait… you seriously just barge in here, all like “Hey, come with me,” no shining armor, no horse, no flowers… and you expect me to just leave? Tonight? During this?
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKCRL57MpUf
— Listen, I crossed a swamp, almost got toasted by a dragon, and haven’t slept in two days. I’m not here for nail polish or party games. You’re coming with me. Now.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJxdxWD5Op
She rolled her eyes and pointed at the coffee table.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeIkkfXNVJW
— We are in the middle of girls’ night. Cinderella’s doing bath potion workshops, Snow White set up a medieval music quiz, and Red brought homemade hazelnut cookies.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy7OLmI0VYW
— They’re gluten-free, added Red proudly.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6GfLPUhOL
— So, sorry Mister Ogre, but I’m not about to ditch my besties for some random guy in smelly leather who can’t even say “hello, princess.” If Lord Farquaad wants me that bad, he can wait. Come back tomorrow. After brunch.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ18ZEQTZMqc
The Donkey, who had crept in behind Shrek, raised a hopeful hoof.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGAQImdqv5n
— Can I… maybe have a cookie?
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA3M7spDdx0
The dragon rolled a tray toward him with one wing. The Donkey squealed with joy.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAFicdOlFj3
Shrek scowled.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyM9WzMS6Tw
— You realize I risked my life getting here? I’m supposed to rescue you.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL3GH862K0B
Fiona crossed her arms.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3yEN5Lnhm
— And I’m supposed to swoon because you showed up? No flowers, no courtesy, no explanation — just “let’s go”? You’re not here to save anyone. You’re here to finish a job.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb7JRRKrpyh
Shrek muttered under his breath.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnbViySJ8PD
— I’m just trying to get rid of the little creep who stole my swamp…
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ019Ju4v0qo
Fiona smirked.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNWFzXGTYTS
— So we all have our reasons. You’ve got your swamp. I’ve got my girls’ night. So here’s the deal: tomorrow evening, 6:30. Knock three times, I’ll fake a scream, the dragon will roar, you carry me down, and boom — you’ve got your story. Cool?
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuXqFpOF6uV
Shrek sighed, defeated.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhgkCi80u0R
— Great…
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YoD9JOWMr
The door slowly shut. A hand-painted wooden sign hung from the knob:
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQsisanQ3iW
“Queens’ Night — No Boys, No Drama.”
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJnQcvHU812
Shrek stood in silence for a moment, then grumbled:
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa2a7XabeBr
— What kind of messed-up kingdom is this…
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSklJ9cScrD
— Honestly? I think it’s amazing, said the Donkey, mouth full. They’ve got style. And snacks. Look — I got a hot towel that smells like lavender!
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd5TO7QejRM
As they made their way down the spiral staircase, the dragon yawned lazily and wished them goodnight… with a puff of glittery smoke.
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5GasqnnKT
Tomorrow would be another day.
But tonight, the top of the tower belonged to princesses, gossip, glitter, and unapologetic girl power.
and then Add to home screen.