" I Don’t Think Anyone Would Notice If I Stopped Showing Up" - #2 — Even When I’m in the Room, It Feels Like I’m Not

80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXlZtsZ9QMc

80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpPbpc6Pdt2

80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkG9uM0yLw0

80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4oz597FOIn

Lena sat beside me in class today.80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN7TzxDd1I3
80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsU27aMYf3S
She leaned over and asked, “You okay?”

I said, “Yeah, just tired.”80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQae6j4C9W
80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmznjBGL0k0
She smiled like that was enough.80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSWQVnz1C9C
80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4iYzwfO1u0
I smiled back — the kind you practice in mirrors so nobody asks twice.

It worked. It always does.

Later, Eli dropped something in the group chat. A plan. Movies, drinks, the usual Saturday noise.80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGaMoUNgeoK
80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡny5xZ8r25p
Everyone reacted. I gave it a thumbs up, muted the chat, and closed the app like it burned to hold it.

I don’t hate people. I just hate feeling like I don’t exist around them.80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlvdDcv6ny
80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4QIhWC1LK
Even when I’m there, fully present, it still feels like I’m watching my life from behind glass.

I listen to people laugh and wonder what it feels like to actually mean it.80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxMWyb2xzgv
80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKWcFkR46N
I speak when I have to. I show up when it matters.80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqFk9lENMB
80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEol9IqD41Q
But everything I say feels like I’m lip-syncing someone else’s life.

It’s not that I want anyone to chase me.80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWBlOj5e3Xk
80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8rJzAtN8h
I just want someone to notice that I’m drifting.80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeiabvf4DVg
80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRDk9H9cwf
Someone to stop smiling and actually look me in the eyes and say,

80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc32UYmJ1rH
“Something’s wrong. Don’t lie to me.”80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5sjEbRk58K

But no one ever does.80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCb1eT29Imk
80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH26Lc3ND4L
They believe the smile. They always believe the smile.

And I don’t blame them.80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnnXDOptM1M
80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Upm5VKcoB
I’ve made it easy.

80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVariiMrRhk

I left my journal open on purpose this time.80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4NjbNTlnN
80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNZtNn3BhZx
Page bookmarked.80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6PHI98fot
80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdwRJZFp2l
Highlighting one line I hoped someone would read:

80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4nR4C1kRA
“If you’re reading this, I don’t want to disappear quietly.”80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqcYG1zmdZ

I didn’t lock my room when I left.80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3DPC7UN09r
80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAkRqIbBCSe
I just want to see who actually comes looking.

80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzVJ4zPjLXN

Thank you for reading. If this felt real to you, follow for the issue 3— I’m just getting start

80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3LVaelDss

Issue 3 drops in [like “2 days”]

80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQg1ik6seu

80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6iH09LqDyW

ns216.73.216.168da2